Saturday, October 29, 2011

What ifs

Do you ever go there in your mind. Do you ever think "What if my child did not have a disability?" Do you ever wonder what caused the autism or special need?? I went there this week. I cried over an hour wondering if I had just let TC come when he was ready instead of having my dr. induce me.......would TC be a normal 4th grader who could read and who had friends? (Tc's friend Jamel did not move back after all.)

I love TC, I would not trade him for the world. But some days I get very sad and emotional. I wonder about what will happen when hubs and I are very old...most of the care of us (and TC) will fall onto Sara. Will she be there or will she be involved in her own life and just not want to deal with any of it??

I work with a lady who has a son and he is very low functioning. She has him in a school and he is soon to turn 18. She is talking about fostering him out. She is in her 50's, had him later in life. I am thankful.....that TC is very high functioning, and that I am young enough to keep up with him. I realize many kids have seizures (my coworkers son does) and many more health issues than TC. We do have problems with asthma, eczema and allergies; but we deal with them. So I am not ungrateful for my blessings, but some days I do go there.

1 comment:

Heather said...

I do go there sometimes. Not a happy place to be but it's reality. Big hugs to you. Yo