Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Random...about me

About me:

1. I am cheap. I really don't like spending money and try to find things on sale. Especially for myself.

2. I spend a lot of time reflecting and daydreaming.

3. I love to write letters. I write my nephew 2 to 3 times a week.

4. I love to sing at the top of my lungs and I can sing pretty well (most of the time).

5. I like R&B music a lot.

6. I must wear lipstick, I don't look right without it.

7. I have to work at NOT being OCD about the house. I have finally learned to relax but it took a few years.

8. I hate clutter but it is around me a lot and I HATE IT!! My kids and husband are so darn messy!

9. I have allergy eyes daily..especially one eye.

10. I want one more piercing...but I probably won't get it.

11. I snore.

12. I love accessories and I wear necklaces, bracelets and earrings every day.

13. I am finally getting into the texting thing.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Christmas, allergies and crazy customers

So, yes we went to the inlaws on Christmas eve (after work). It was okay. My M.I.L. smokes like a freight train and TC is allergic to cigarette smoke. Also he is allergic to pets but he LOVES them and won't keep his hands off her dog. Then he rubs his eye and ends up puffing up!

So we did Benadryl but my M.I.L. sat at the table puffing away. We dealt with it but TC was soooooooooo tired when we got home and sooooooooooo cranky too.
I finally made him go to bed!
He woke up yesterday in much better spirits.

We have started making Christmas day about our immediate family. So we stayed in our pj's all day yesterday and enjoyed each other, our gifts and some good food.
We got some snow flurries on Christmas eve but nothing that stuck and woke yesterday to dry ground.

I was not happy about it yesterday but was happy this morning when I had to drive to work.

Customers are driving me nuts already and I have to stay til' 3. Only 4 more hours to go!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas

I hope all of my blogger buddies have a safe and happy holiday.
God Bless!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Movie review

Oh, the movie was very cute. TC really enjoyed the music because it was based out of New Orleans so it had a lot of jazz. There was one lightning bug who was so Cajun, he was my favorite in the entire movie. I think all kids will enjoy "The Princess and the Frog."

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Excitement and Meltdowns

My husband let the kids open a gift yesterday.
By the time Christmas is here, they won't have any left!!

TC opened his lightsabers and he has played with them non stop.
Sara opened a DS game she wanted.
Our weather has been crazy,as usual!
We have all had sinus problems and TC had two nosebleeds yesterday.
My sister came over and we opened gifts with her.
So by about 8:00 last night, TC was DONE and was having meltdown after meltdown.
I was trying to work on an assignment and finally I put him in the shower and not long after that,he fell asleep on the couch.

Today we are going to see Princess and the Frog.
I still haven't finished my assignment but I am happy this is my last one until after Christmas! I get a break for 2 weeks, I am so ready.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Parties and bribery

TC was supposed to go see Santa yesterday. But his teacher got sick so they didn't go. Tomorrow both he and Sara have a party with pizza and other goodies. Then they will be out of school for over 2 weeks!! YES!!

TC hates haircuts so I bribed him with McD's if he would let me cut his hair when we got home.

I didn't cut as much as I would have liked but it does look better! He loves to spike it up in the front like Edward in New Moon.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

What is going on?

Ugh..things have GOT to get better for me.
They just HAVE to!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Sick day

Stayed home with the kids today.
I had an earache and TC still cannot walk good with his leg/knee.

His teacher said he fell on Friday and the nurse iced his leg and he seemed fine.
I got no phone call or note.

I am not happy.

But we are going back to work and school tomorrow.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

TC decorating

TC is excited for Christmas!

Christmas is near

The tree is up!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Doctor update

I called the doctor's office to complain about our visit with the nurse practicioner.
The lady I talked to seemed SO SHOCKED at my experience.
I told her, "Ma'am I have been bringing my kids there for YEARS and I have never had the experience that I did when I brought my son in."

She said the nurse practicioner is new and very young and maybe she was just really busy.
I told her I totally understand, but she needs to be talked to about what happened because it was not a good thing that she gagged TC and hardly even talked to me about anything.
So the hell what if you are busy?
My child is important and I have paid you thousands in the last few years so take 5 minutes to make us feel like you give a damn.

This Mama Bear has her claws out.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Snow and randomness

We are getting snow in TX. And it is cold.
And I am STILL sick.

I am working a lot of o.t. at home working a support site. Which is good.
I was able to pay all of my bills last week and breathe a big sigh of relief.
With everybody being sick, it has been very expensive!

I had a meltdown in the school line at Sara's school this morning.
What is it with these kids that take 10 minutes to get out of the car?

I am wondering how many people even read my blogs anymore!

I rarely get comments.
If you read, can you say howdy??

Monday, November 30, 2009

TC choked at school today and could not breathe

The kids went back to school today.
I picked TC up after daycare and he had a note in his folder that he choked on a corndog nugget at lunch.
His teacher had to perform the heimlich maneuver.
I am just crying and thanking God that he is okay.
I will NEVER send those in his lunch again.

So so grateful that his teacher was looking out for him...so was the Lord.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Sick but better

I had to work yesterday, I was so sick I thought I was just going to pass out.
But I made it!

I came home around 2:30 and Hubby made me some Theraflu.
Then I asked Sara to make me some hot chocolate.
I rested and watched a movie.

Took more medicine before bed and woke up feeling a lot better today!
Hubby is now making lunch, turkey, potatoes, corn, stuffing.
We are having our dinner today, just us and the kids.
TC won't eat any of it so he is having mini corn dogs.

Today will be good!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Doctor visit

So I took TC to the dr. today after the movies.
I did NOT like the nurse practicioner that we saw.
She didn't even tell him she was checking his throat,
she just stuck the stick in his mouth and gagged him.

Then she ordered x rays saying he may have pneumonia.
I knew better but they had a machine there so I was like, WHATEVER.

Afterwards she tried to tell me about cupping my hand and patting him
on the back to break up his congestion.
Can I say DUH?

I know this already.

Oh yeah, and she was about 25 and probably has no kids, her bedside
manner left a lot to be desired.

AND we were there over 2 hours..ugh.


This is a nebulizer! We got it today it is a firetruck. TC loves it.

Peace and hair grease.


Movie day

Today is NEW MOON. I can't wait.
Had a lot of drama last night because Sara took her cousin's MP3 player to school and now it is nowhere to be found.
A new one costs $80.
I don't have $80.

Sara babysits for us and gets paid sometimes so I guess she will buy a new MP3 when she babysits next time and a few times after that.

Hubby is sick, TC is sick.
Hubby stayed home today.

It seems everytime I take off, he ends up staying home.
But I am not going to let it affect my excitement.
Our movie starts at noon!!


Sunday, November 22, 2009

Sunday sickies

TC is up this morning coughing and coughing.
I have given him Mucinex to break up the junk in his chest.
I sure hope it helps.
So far...no fever.

He has school Monday and Tuesday so I hope he gets better, he has already missed 5 days and does not need to miss more.
My hubby is sick too.
I hate it when hubby is sick because he feels guilty and is super sensitive.
I HATE it.

I need to get started on some homework this morning but I want to just lay by my boy for awhile first.

Also, as usual, I have tons of laundry to hang up and fold but I know my sweet Sara will help me!

The menu for lunch/dinner today is ribs, potatoes, and a salad. We will probably eat around 2'ish.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Beans, farts, teens, and cuteness

Oh my gosh, TC is so cute right now, he is sleepy and fresh from the bath and I want to SQUEEZE him.

Sara has been getting on my nerves really bad since she turned 14.
It is like she does things to aggravate me and oohhh I sometimes have to hold myself back. Lord knows I love her but OMG, it gets rough. Especially during PMS times.
But, she is a good girl, and I am thankful.

I ate 12 bean soup today that a coworker made. I had to tell the story Maria told on on her blog...Just Eat your Cupcake. We laughed and laughed.
Don't feel bad, Maria, I was farting a lot today after eating that damn bean soup.

Monday, November 16, 2009


How come I have to tell my kids to get in the shower like 5 times?

How come my husband thinks it's okay to wake me up at 3 am for sex?

Why does my new Whitney cd make me cry everytime I hear it?

Why can't people just love each other instead of hating over stupid shit?

Do some people seriously NOT brush their hair before they come to work??

How come I cleaned the heck out of my house and it is funky again?

Why can't I be rich and have a maid?

Sunday, November 15, 2009


My oldest sister's adopted son Junior and the kids.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Today is my Friday.
Today is my FRIDAY.
Today is MY Friday.

Sooooooooooooo happy!

Monday, November 9, 2009


Wow, this weekend went by TOO fast! Since I had to work Saturday, I was only able to have one day off.
And most of that day was spent doing laundry, dishes, cooking and working on a paper. BLECH.

The kids slept in yesterday which resulted in TC staying up hours past his bedtime last night. I will probably need lots of caffeine today!

I am only working 3 days this week. I took off Thursday, and I am automatically off Friday because I worked this past Saturday.

I sure get irritated when driving the kids to school in the morning.
There was this one guy who was on my butt and it was in a SCHOOL ZONE. I was so mad and when he passed me, I secretly wished the police up ahead would pull him over.

Then I got to work and 2 people came in the door ahead of me but didn't hold the door open. Then one of them claimed to not see me. Okay, whatever. I am a hefty girl, I am wearing Fuchsia today, how can you miss me?

I wish I could clean my house really good and that it would stay clean until the kid's birthday party on Saturday.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

At work

Man, I will be glad when 3:00 comes. I am at work today. So far, it has been a good day, other than my allergies and my monthly you-know-what.

Sara is with my mother in law going to a baby shower for my father in law's daughter. She is pregnant with a girl. She is due next month, I think.

TC and Hubs were at the lake earlier, TC was eating fries and watching Hubs shoot his bb gun. I hope they have fun and that TC is in a good mood when I get home.
I have another big paper due tomorrow. Hopefully it won't take me all day, but you just never know!!

My weekend will be pretty short nonetheless. I don't like working on Saturday.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Rude and inconsiderate family member

I mentioned in my Tx Blog that sometimes you have to just say no and not feel bad about it.

Well, my sister called me last Saturday, 2 hours before I was going to take the kids to a church carnival and trick or treating. She said, "Oh your nephew (her son, Josh) has invited himself to go to the church carnival with you and stay the night."

Of course she put me on the spot, but I told her I would have to call her back.
And when I did, I told her that I just wanted to take my kids, but he could stay another time.

So she is not speaking to me right now.

Well, I ordered some Avon for my niece and I messaged my sister on Facebook and told her that my niece's Avon is in. And that I know she is mad at me over this past weekend.

She said in her reply, "Well, I was upset. And I have a lot going on so I won't be able to come get her Avon. I'll get it from you another time."

And I messaged her back and this is what I said.
Doing things short notice freaks TC out a lot of the time. We had already had a pretty full day and he was cranky. I didn't stay long at the church thing, it was very small and made for little ones, not teens. But TC had fun anyways. Maybe next time we can plan a little more ahead. Sunday I had a 1400 word paper I had to write, so Saturday was not a good night for company. I have a lot going on too and I would never hurt anybody's feelings but sometimes you have to do what works for you and your family and hope that people don't get mad. Sara wanted Chelle to come over this weekend and I said, I have to work Saturday and besides that, it is Josh's turn to stay the night, he is next. I am not trying to be unfair, I have invited Josh and he had other things going on but he is welcome to stay after this weekend.

I mean, I get tired of having to lick her butt 24/7 and she doesn't know how dealing with a kid with Autism works. You can't just spring things on TC or all hell will break loose.

And I get even more tired of her (and other people) saying how much they have going on. I am busy too, HELL, I am working, going to school, mowing, cleaning, cooking, laundrying, and everything!! She rents her house and doesn't even have to mow, they do it for her.

But I try to be considerate and not ask anybody to help out with my kids. And if they offer I am grateful. But I do not expect it!

I really want to tell her to get over herself already!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Mowing Queen

I have been mowing for the last couple of days. I still have a TON to mow though!! Anyways, the mosquitoes are loving me. And I am sick of them!!
And now I am all congested.
But I have more to mow today, anybody wanna come help?
I still have about 2 1/2 acres to go!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Ms. Sara posing with the purse I found today for my Mom (Christmas gift).

TC and his cursing

TC has been cursing all evening.
He sure is working my nerves.

He cracked me up when he said this morning "M.O.G" instead of "O.M.G."
He spells stuff but it's all wrong because he can't spell yet but it is funny.
He just made me a tattoo on my leg that has xnm and he said it reads, "Mom is going to work."

But I wish he would stop cussing like a sailor.

Monday, November 2, 2009


TC was so cute yesterday.
He told Sara, "This was the best Halloween ever, huh Sara?"

Then he asked me, "Is trick or treat over?"
And I said, "Yep, until next year."

He is getting more and more fun as he is able to try and tolerate new things.
This Mama is happy today just thinking about it.

He stopped a lot of people and told them how AWESOME they looked in their costumes and what they were dressed as.
Here is a scenario:

TC:Hey, you are a Transformer, you look awesome!
Kid: Looking at TC and walking away
ME: Grinning from ear to ear

So tomorrow is Sara's 14th birthday and I am picking her up early to take her to lunch and shopping...a girl's day. I am excited!!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

So Lame

Yesterday was pretty great!
We got up, went to SAMS, came home for a little rest and then went to a church carnival.

I took the kids Trick or Treating. Then we came home to view the loot!

Even though clocks were turned back, I woke up before 6. Thus did TC.
I turned the tv on trying to find him something to watch.

Blues Clues was on.

He informed me, "This is so lame."
And when it was over, he said, "Whew. I am soooo glad that is over. It is not very awesome."

He cracks me up!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Help, I need advice

I need some advice.

My sister has been coming over at 6:30 every Friday because she takes my nephew to football practice. She comes in and is VERY loud, always gets on the computer, basically interrupts my routine every Friday.
This morning, she got on the computer and checked my niece's grades and proceeded to bitch my niece out for failing a test.

In the midst of all of this, TC was having a meltdown over wanting to wear a costume at school (which I said no but told him he could carry it in his backpack). All the while, my sister is being so LOUD and obnoxious. I was stressed out.

She fussed at my niece and I gave my niece a ride to school and my niece was crying. She said, "They help Josh (who is my nephew) with all of his homework, but they can't help me with mine and if I make a bad grade, she stresses me out about it."

I felt so sorry for my niece.
And frankly, I don't even want my sister to come over anymore on Fridays. She interrupts my whole morning. It makes me so mad!

Should I tell her Hubby is sick next week so she doesn't come??

Thursday, October 29, 2009


1 More day til' Friday!!!
It is raining here in Tx again today.

I am sad that Abby went home on the Biggest Loser this week. But isn't she amazing?
For those of you who don't know, Abby was my classmate.

Seeing her little family and knowing that her hubby and kids were killed just tears me up. I couldn't even imagine.
I was happy that I saw a softer side of Jillian though.

So today, I am counting my blessings and I am thankful my car is almost fixed. It needed struts, a tune up, and I am not sure what else.

I have to do a food journal for my Science and Nutrition class. Here is my entry for today.

My breakfast this morning was Special K Cereal, wheat toast, and a granola bar for snack just now with a bottled water. Vegetable soup is lunch. Apple w/ peanut butter for afternoon snack. Smoked sausage and broccoli and maybe one other veggie is going to be dinner.

I have been walking but need to increase that by 10 more minutes so that is my goal this week.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Mental handicap

I was listening to the radio on the way to work yesterday. They were saying how the President has declared the swine flu an epidemic?

And autism isn't??
Come on!!

I don't really know where I am going with this but it did irritate me. Mental illness is a really big deal and it is overlooked a lot. Comments are made about "being retarded" "riding the short bus" "being special". Comments that a lot of people have made at one time or another.

With all the anti-drug commercials, how come there aren't any regarding the mentally handicapped and how it is NOT okay to make fun of them??
Have you seen any??

Sara is doing a project on my Grandmother. She was mentally ill. I remember when I was small, she would go away for periods of time. During my Mom's childhood, my Grandma was gone a lot. Mental illness runs in my family BIG TIME. It is no joke. It is terrifying and lonely and misunderstood. I think all of my brothers have it and I KNOW my Mom has it. My oldest sister is EVIL and I think she is bipolar. I try not to cross her because she is a true lunatic and will make your life hell, ruin relationships, and basically be happy to cause you pain.
It is sad.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Tests, beds, and trucks

Sorry for the lack of posting. Friday I took off to work on my algebra final, and I had to work on my Economics final Saturday and Sunday. I passed my Algebra, I was so happy!!

Saturday the kids, Hubs and I went and picked out a new mattress and box springs for a King sized bed. We got one of those memory foam ones. It was on sale, but still VERY expensive!!!

My car goes in the shop today. The front end is rattling like crazy and it needs a tune up. I hope the rattle is nothing MAJOR. My sister in law has a car and a truck so she let us use her truck. I drove it today. It is a 4 door Dodge Ram and it is niiiiice. But it is BIG.
Of course it was rainy and dark all the way to work..ugh.
But I made it here safely and that is what counts.

Have a Happy Monday, y'all.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

He tried something new

TC RARELY eats what we cook but tonight he asked for a taco. I HAD to take a photo of this!!

Goings on

Yeah, this morning was fun.
TC kept grabbing my face and I have an ulcer in my mouth and it hurt like a mother.
Finally I popped him and told him to stop it.
He started crying and crying.
I grabbed him and gave him a really tight hug and he was better. He did not go to school yesterday because he was up Sunday night not feeling well. Hubs stayed home with him. I, of course, got less than 4 hours sleep and I was so exhausted yesterday.

A lot of things are going on in my marriage right now. Marriage is never easy.
Prayers are appreciated! I'm not going into detail on this blog but if you read my keepin' it real, you know what it is.

I felt myself starting to get depressed yesterday. I came home and took a hot bath and ate dinner, then I took my laptop to bed. I lurve my laptop!
The kids always gravitate to whatever room I am in, but it was all good.
I love my babies and some days I can't imagine how I would make it without them.
They are my reason for keeping on.

I am hoping for a better day.
Today I am wearing a shirt that says, "Sarcasm is just another free service that I offer."
It fits me so well!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The lake

I took the kids to the lake today because it was not raining. Woo hoo!!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

WARNING this is a rant

So if you don't want to hear me complain, just skip this. Mmmmkay?

Yeah, this rain.
It is enough to make a person crazy.
And it finally stopped yesterday but my land is a swamp and my grass is so high, and I am anal-retentive about my grass being mowed. It stresses me out when it is high and I can't mow it.

And TC.
His asthma is back.
It started last night when hubs deleted a DVR'd show TC wanted to watch.
I didn't know it had been erased and I told TC he could watch it.
But then it wasn't there and then he had a huge fit.
For like 30 minutes straight.
With lots and lots of snot and tears.
Finally I just put him in bed.
He scratched and scratched and cried and cried about how he didn't want to go to school the next day, and finally his Melatonin kicked in.

He was up I don't know how many times.
I put more cream on his skin.
Then his wheezing was out of control.
So I had to give him a treatment.
This was before 4 am.

I guess when my alarm went off, I turned it completely off and went back to sleep.
Which means I woke up late.
Then I woke Sara up late.
I tried to fix lunches and get ready and get TC up in about 10 minutes time.

TC wanted to cry and fuss. I told him, "I can't deal with this now. You need to stop so we can get to the bus."

We barely made it to the bus at the daycare, I mean he was about to leave, but we MADE IT.

Then I get to work and my boss..ugh.
I am just not in the mood for her today.
And I am so darn sleepy.

On days like this, I really envy stay at home Moms. At least if I didn't work, I could lay down for an hour or so. But here I am, at work, doing what I do.

But I am NOT happy about it.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Here I am!

I haven't posted on here in awhile. Sorry.
Between school and home and other crap, I haven't had time.
I have had a lot to talk about though.
I was off work last Friday and my friend Tish came over and we had lunch.
We had the best time!!!

The kids were out of school Monday.
I paid Sara to take care of TC, she made more than the daycare would have charged, but it was worth it to not have to drag TC out early in the morning.

Work has been so S L O W.
I actually worked on Algebra on Monday for over an hour, but I got a good head start on this weeks problems, which are due Friday.
Yesterday I had jury duty and they dismissed us because the case solved out of court.
So I came home and cleaned the floors, did laundry and my internet finally came back up, so I finished up those math problems. Got a 91!!! WOOT!!!
I made chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy and spinach for the family last night. I could really dig staying home and just going to school. Unfortunately, we have way to many bills and I carry the insurance.

I have an economics paper due tomorrow so I plan on working on that this evening.
Just this week and next week and I will be out of these two classes, I can't wait!!

TC and Sara are doing good. TC had a little wheezing yesterday but we are having torrential rain and it won't stop so I am sure it is weather related.
The school canceled his field trip today, they WERE going to the TX State Fair. I didn't mention it, so thankfully he didn't know anything about it and didn't get disappointed.

Sara is doing well, but her teen attitude is a bit much sometimes. I love that girl and I realize she will be 14 next month. But sometimes our hormones are at a very high point and we don't get along.
It is rare, though, and I am grateful for that!!!

I have stayed on top of things this week (but I realize it is only Wednesday) and I have actually read an entire book (in 2 days!)!

There is nothing better than kicking back with a good book when it is rainy outside.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What's happenin'

Man was I feeling like a bloated cow earlier this week. So I decided to cut back on the sugar, and start walking.

It has rained the last 2 evenings.

Mother Nature is not my friend.

I am making an effort this week to do better in algebra. I had a long talk with my college counselor yesterday and I even cried. I told her how overwhelmed I am with these classes, working, raising 2 kids (one with autism) and I am just OVER IT. She was very understanding. I have another algebra class lined up next. She moved it to the end of my program and I can change it to another math. The only thing is, if I choose to pursue my bachelor's I have to take this second algebra.
I doubt I will go further until Sara graduates.
That is 4 years away and a lot can happen between now and then.
I just know I need a break from math after this class is over.

One thing I am excited about is that I added two psychology classes and I LURVED the last one!!!
Now if I can get through the next 3 weeks and pass this class, it will get better. I hope.

I think my hubby is proud of me for doing well, but at times he has made me feel guilty for not spending more time with him. I told him if he were RICH and I didn't have to work, I would be opening wide for chunky WAY more often!! But I have to work, and go to school, AND do the majority of the housework. So he can get over it!

Monday, October 5, 2009

4 day workweek, school issue

TC was in rare form yesterday. He still has a cough but is feeling better. Sara is coughing too but not running a temp anymore.

I will only work 4 days this week. I hope my kids stay well because I have lunch plans on Friday. My old friend TISH is coming over and I am making her fajitas. I am excited!! And we may have a couple of margaritas too. I don't ever hardly drink anything. But we may have to get a little wild and crazy and have a few sippy sips.

I am a little frustrated about getting hardly any teacher communication. What should I do??
I am wanting to write a little note in TC's folder and ask the teacher for daily feedback.
We discussed this last year, he has the same teacher this year. Except he goes to math and reading in another class.
Still, I want some feedback of his day.
Lord knows he won't tell me much.


Saturday, October 3, 2009

Still the sickies

TC started coughing really bad in the last few days. We have been giving him meds like crazy. We are watching him closely because of the asthma. He is acting fine, and finally ate something this evening. I just wish he would go to sleep already!

Sara is doing better. Her teen attitude is shining bright!!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Sick kid, marriage, cuteness

Sara has been really sick and TC is so worried about her. She had to wear a mask because she was diagnosed with the flu- Type A. He was NOT happy to see her in that mask. He told her, "Sara, can I please see your face?"


Then last night I was laying beside him and I said, "Give me a kiss." And he said, "You may kiss the bride."

I asked him if he is going to get married one day and he said, "Yes."
I asked him who would he marry? And he said, "Sara."
Sometimes he is so cute!!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Some happy

I got this note from one of TC's teachers yesterday.

Toy is working hard on recognizing color words and numbers 1-10 in my classroom. Tony can identify 1-5 and can read several color words. Tony is listening and following directions well.


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A loss

My heart just breaks for this family.
I see the look on Jon's face he is amazed and so in love with this young man.
When I see photos of Jon now, I can tell he is taking his son's death very hard.
Who wouldn't?
They are now saying he had autism.

I am not judging their decision to share this information. But if more people in the spotlight made autism known, perhaps there would not be so much ignorance in the world today.

Regardless, they lost a beautiful boy.
I could not imagine.

As hard as the hardest days with TC are, I can't imagine my life without him.
Thanks for all of the kind words that help get me through. They definitely help.

Especially the ones that say, this too, shall pass.
And TC will not be stuck at 7 years old forever.
He WILL make progress.
HE WILL surprise me and everybody else.

Sunday, September 27, 2009


Miss Sara

Hubs and TC Chillaxin'

Me with more pink hair,done yesterday

TC "being Wolverine"

Thursday, September 24, 2009


Today has been a better day.
I shared a nice lunch with friends complete with brownie sundaes and lots of laughter.
Sometimes God knows just what we need!!

I found out that TC got a Happy Gram at school yesterday. When I asked him what he did (his teacher did not write in his communication folder)...all he told me was, "I was really good today."

Okay then!!
I know I haven't said much about Sara lately. She is doing great. She is such a good girl that I rarely have anything bad to say about her! I am so proud of the young lady she is becoming. I mean, I wish I could have been more like her growing up. But at least things I went through have helped me to teach her how to be a strong young lady.


Yesterday I was in a weird mood.

Sometimes I think too much.
I was thinking a lot about TC. What does his future hold? Will I eventually have to put him in a home somewhere?
Some days I think he will be fine, be able to live independently.
Yet other days I am not sure.
Because this last week has been tough.
We had another rough one last night with another bad nosebleed.
I worry about him making bad choices in the future. Getting involved in drugs or getting in a bad relationship.
I know I can't control the future but some days I worry.
A lot.

I know he is only 7. And he is doing great in school, his behavior has been phenomenal. He has received stickers all week long and yesterday he got a Happy Gram. He got commended for dancing so well in P.E.

Maybe my worrying is not rational. Yet I can't help it.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


This crazy weather in TX has Tc's allergies and eczema AND asthma in an uproar. His body is revolting!!

Between the breathing treatments, creams for eczema, nosebleeds and basically not feeling well...I think I could lose my mind.

TC hates to brush his teeth. I told him this morning that he needed to come into the bathroom so I could brush his teeth.

He was not happy about this and he punched me HARD in my chest. I grabbed his arm and told him no way, no how was he going to be physically abusive towards me! So, he turned around and punched Sara!

Oh no he di-n't.

I fussed him out.
Then he started crying.
And having an asthma attack.
And punching himself in the throat.
(When he can't breathe, he punches his throat or chest).

Then I had to give him a breathing treatment and try to calm him down and get out the door before we missed the bus.

The thing is, TC is VERY verbal. He has come so far. But I am hoping this weather brightens up or I may very well lose my mind.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Update on funeral

Read my Living in Tx Blog to see about the funeral fiasco. UGH.
It was a crazy day!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Try a little harder!

With Billy's passing, I have tried to do a lot of thinking. I have thought about my relationships. I have tried to change some of the ways I have done things.

I realize life is short and we have to take what we can get.
My family may not be there for me as much as I would like but I am willing to work hard to nurture our relationships.
I also understand that we can't change other people. They are who they are.

My husband sees things differently. He says he has to guard his heart. I think we all do, to an extent. But my husband feels alone a lot of the time. He doesn't really reach out to people. He doesn't really care about relationships with his family.

Until something like losing a family member happens. And I think he is hurt because some people have not reached out to him.

Even though I have done my best, and I am far from perfect, he has been lashing out at me. And it hurts because I am the ONE person who has been there for him for the last 15 years.

I told him last night that he needs to start trying to nurture some relationships.

It is time.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Eve and the garden of Eden

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So,
how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets
are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but
I have just one problem.

It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other
two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them
on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body
came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc She felt that
having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically

"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this,
you know.. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you
needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix
it up right away."

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into
the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of

"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all
the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her
bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone. "

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will
immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I
put that useless boob?"

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?

Sunday, September 13, 2009


Me, hubs and TC are sick.
I am sure we will be attending a funeral soon.
Uncle Billy has no brain function.
This has been a rough week.
We took the kids to a movie yesterday.
Today I spent most of the day resting, doing laundry, and some homework.
TC may miss school again tomorrow, he is sleeping now. My kid NEVER goes to sleep this early.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Update on Uncle

Hubby took off work today to go back to Dallas and see his uncle. Of course he has to play taxi cab for his relatives: cousin, aunt, and pick them up as well. I am driving his truck today and he took my Pacifica so he could fit everyone. (His truck needs brakes, they were screeching this morning! I need to tell him about that!)

His Uncle is not doing well,apparently the tree branch hit him hard and cracked his skull open. He is bleeding internally still and he is very swollen. They had to put a trach in because he wasn't breathing well (years of smoking has damaged his lungs). He is in really bad shape, he is very swollen and it has been so hard on my husband.

See, Tony's dad died a couple of years before we married. So his Uncle is the closest thing he has to his dad. They fish together, they even work at the same place. So they see each other almost every day.

It is really heartbreaking to see your husband (who never cries) just break down and cry. He knows his Uncle may not live and if he does, he will possibly be very brain damaged. I know God can work a miracle and I know if he needs Billy to stay here, he will keep him here. But it is still very hard.

I am so sad today.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Emotions, my day, bad news

OMG, lots of drama lately with my sister. I cried a lot this week and I e mailed her. She keeps saying "Time will tell...you hurt me so bad."
And my response was that I can't BEG her to come around and I feel if she had not read my personal blog, she would not have been hurt.
I am tired of apologizing.

N-E ways, I had a great day today. Visited and old friend and her family (Hi KRISTI) yes, she has the same name as me!! I could kick myself for not taking pictures, I had my camera too!

She reads this blog and I was so excited to see her after many years. She won't be able to get rid of me now!! Love you girl!

Came home to bad news, hubby's uncle was cutting tree branches and one hit him in the head, he had to be rushed to the hospital and had bleeding internally. (In his brain.) Had to have surgery, but is still bleeding in his brain.

Prayers are much appreciated.

Friday, September 4, 2009

That's my boy!

This was in my baby's folder after school yesterday.

Tony has been wonderful today!
This morning, during circle time, in Ms. P's class, the students were getting up one by one, going to the front, and stating their favorite tv show. When Tony was asked his, without being told to, he went up to the front and told everyone that his favorite show was karate! Very impressive!

Go TC!! You make a Mama proud!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

While I wait

When I posted the LETTERS this morning, I was still angry at my sister.

I went to work seething because I was up all night thinking of how she has treated me since she found my blog. I apologized more times than I can count and she told me if I didn't stop blogging, then that proved I wasn't really sorry.

I refuse to stop blogging. And I refuse to kiss her butt until the end of time.

I know I did say some things in my blog that hurt her. I don't deny that. It's just that she acts like I am the only one to blame in all of this. And I don't agree.

So today I came home and mowed and I listened to my music.

This is one I listened to.

I know God is faithful. I know he has a plan and until he fulfills it, I am waiting. I am praying for peace.


Dear Sis:
I know you are still mad at me because you read my blog and I said 3 things about you and you were pissed so now you are not speaking to me.
BUT...you tell my daughter in Facebook that I need to come to your son's games in order to keep you company.
When my daughter says that you need to call me you hurry up and get off chat and say, "Gotta go."
Why would I drive 40 miles one way to a game and sit by you when you won't even pick up the phone and call me? HUH?? HUH??

And how come when my daughter calls to talk to her cousin, you never let her??

Your imperfect sister who only ever wanted you to give a care.

Dear Hubs:
I told you when you bought tires bigger than what your truck had on it that you were making a mistake. Case in point, your flat tire this morning. The (too big) tire rubbed and rubbed to the point that it made a hole in your tire.

When are you ever going to realize I am always right?? Gaaahhhh.

Dear Coworker:
You chose to not participate in the dinners in the office. So stop coming by the table looking at the food and stop asking me what everybody brought! And when we are all enjoying our lunch, don't come in my office with a pissed off look on your face and when someone asks you to sit down (not me because you are acting 2 years old), you refuse to do so and walk away with your head down.

You are 62 years old...grow the hell up! JEEZ!

Dear Dirty Laundry that NEVER GOES AWAY,
You suck!

The maid, waitress and housekeeper (all me)

Monday, August 31, 2009

Light in darkness

Borrowed this from Gypsy.

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

Last night was hard because TC did not want to go to school today. He cried and screamed, hit himself and cried some more. (And he cursed a lot too).

Trying to talk to him and calm him was tough. I ended up in tears too. Why does it have to be so hard for him?? Why can't we get past these bumps and find a smooth road for God's sake??

So I came to work and I was crying (to myself) and I was quiet for a long time. I was grieving a little bit. I was very sad and distraught.

But I received a few encouraging words from blogger (and facebook friends),and I realized it will be okay.

This is just another hurdle but we will get over it.

My hubby has been a real trooper too, and he called and checked on me (and TC) first thing this morning when I got to work.

I love that man. I am so glad I am not doing this alone.

Sunday, August 30, 2009


We didn't go anywhere today, well I did have to run to the store.

I organized my cabinet.

Cooked pasta with alfredo sauce.

Made a yummy ice cream dessert.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Crazy week

Yeah, this week has had a lot of ups and downs. A LOT!! I am thinking of trying some new vitamins for TC and hope they help him. He has had meltdowns every evening after school over his Transformers. Yesterday he completely lost it and he had the durn toy in his pocket. ARGH.

Our a/c wasn't working right, I was trying to do MY homework and I had to stop to look for a darn transformer arm.

Sara is being a typical teen and wants all of my attention as soon as I walk in the door. So I feel as if I need to split myself 4 different ways so everybody can be happy.

How can I do this?

Friday... woot!!

Oh, I didn't get my pap smear after all. My doctor was overbooked so I sat there for over an hour and they asked me to reschedule. SURE WHY THE HELL NOT? I just left work early and everything.

Well, that is good, atleast some hair can grow back!

I am so happy it is Friday because this week has been one thing after another. Our a/c at home was frozen up when I got home and it was 80 freaking degrees in my house. NOT GOOD!! This fat girl was not happy!!

I am trying to get my husband to do some things on his day off, he is not thrilled with me right now!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

2nd day of school and private issues

It is the second day of school for both myself and the kids. I started 2 new classes yesterday, Algebra and Economics. UGH. MATH BITES.

I picked TC up from daycare yesterday and asked him how school went and he gave me a big smile and a thumbs up!! YEAH!!!

Sara did good but the two girls who have harassed her all summer are in class with her (for 4 classes)....bless her heart.

I have to go get a pap smear today. I am so excited!!! Not. And I forgot about it and hubs has been bitching about my HAIRY privacy area so I shaved and NOW I am afraid the dr. will think I am some sort of freak when she sees my girly parts this afternoon.

I am mortified already.

Monday, August 24, 2009

First day of school

So today was the first day of school. TC had a huge meltdown yesterday and I was kind of hoping he had it all out of his system. I didn't want to leave him at school crying and snotting everywhere.

So we walk up to his school and he was nervous...I could tell. And as his teacher gave him a hug, he held onto my hand really tight. I could see that he wanted to cry but he didn't. Sara and I talked to him for a few minutes and his teacher got him started on a computer game. I told him, "Bubba, I packed all your favorite things in your lunch, okay?? You will do fine buddy."

After one last hug, we left.

He didn't cry not even one tear. My sweet little man.

I offered to walk Sara into school, teasing her. She said, "Oh Mom...pulease..how embarrassing!"


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Drama drama

Sara is continuing to have girl drama. It is 2 girls at her school who send her ugly messages on My Space. She was in tears today telling me one girl said, "I will hit you in the penis." How stupid can they be??? She is worried there will be more drama once school starts.

I just e mailed her principal. Here is my e mail.

Ms. Shamrock,
I am writing to you because my daughter, Sara Armpit, will be in 8th grade this year and I wanted to give you a heads up on some problems she is having.

Over the summer, Sara had had some problems with a couple of girls who will also be 8th graders. They have sent her nasty messages on her phone and on my space. The girls are Faith Rackface and Kristen Headeater. Part of the problem is that Sara is a very good girl and chooses not to be involved in some things that are not age appropriate. She and Faith go way back and have had problems since 6th grade. Over the summer, Kristen became upset because Sara didn't want to go to her birthday party, which Kristen had invited Faith to. I told Sara it is her choice who she wants to be friends with and she should not have to be bullied or forced to hang out with people who mistreat her.

Sara has told me that Faith has a history of being in trouble a lot at school and I told her that school is for learning, not socializing and certainly not for being mistreated by others.

Sara is worried that these two girls will continue to harass her and I told her I would make sure to fill you in on the situation since school is starting very soon.

If we have any problems, I will be in touch.

Kristi Armpit

(names have been changed)

She did e mail me back and said she would keep an eye on things.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Conceited or confident?

So Sara and I went to Fashion Bug yesterday and got a couple of tops. I am loving one of them I have on today. It makes my boobs look Great!!

I was working on a powerpoint presentation for school yesterday and I told hubs, "I hope I am doing this right, we are supposed to do this like we are training new employees."
He said, "Oh you will do fine you are a great student."
I said, "I know, but this one is a little different than what I am used to doing."
He said, (laughing) "You crack me up. I say you are great and you say, I know it."

Well, there is nothing wrong with confidence, right??

Hubs says all the time, "You think a lot of yourself." And my response is, "Well, if I don't then who will?"

School and teens

I tried to talk to TC last night about starting school. He bursted out crying. I am trying to prepare him but I don't know how. It is so hard!!

Sara, on the other hand, is ready to start school. Because her life is soooooooooo hard. I ask her to pick up after herself and oh my Lord, she is so tired of it.



Lord help me through these next 4 years with her because I love her but sometimes I want to throttle her!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

My day

TC was up this morning at 6:30. Of course he went back to sleep and I never did so I got up. I watched a little tv, got ready, went to Ace Hardware, the grocery store, post office, and Family Dollar.

I came home from all of that and had an argument with the Hubs and it was a doozie!
My husband thinks everybody is against him a lot of the time and it drives me insane. I have put in 15 years, haven't I done my time?? Haven't I proven that I am here to stay??

I went into the bathroom and had a breakdown. Maybe I needed it because I do feel better.

I vacuumed the bedrooms, loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the bathrooms, shocked the pool and changed the filter, and now I have 2 PowerPoint presentations to do. I'd better get busy!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009


If you don't read my Living in Tx Blog, please visit.

I sent my sister the link of the girl we went to school with. She is going to be on "The Biggest Loser". She lost her entire family, her hubby and kids in a tragic car accident. I told my sister that life is short and that sometimes we do things for a reason. And although I hurt her by some things I said in my blog, I do blog for my own personal reasons.

She told me that I obviously did not learn my lesson because I am still blogging.

What the hell??
I e mailed her back and said:
So I should stop blogging because you found my Tx blog?? Do you not get that the people who read my blog have been there for me when NOBODY else was???

I told her I loved her but I won't bother her anymore.

And I won't.

My TX blog is back!

I brought my Living Life In Tx blog back! Couldn't bear to part with it but I did go in and delete out a few posts. I will be monitoring the feeds and see who is visiting though!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009



This is a classmate of mine. She was very vivacious and funny and we got along really well. She is going to be on the Biggest Loser in September.

Aunt Flo, school starting soon

I finally started my period yesterday. Too bad I had a pap scheduled, which I had to cancel.

I was up a lot last night cramping and sweating. Dang hormones!!!!

TC's eczema is in full swing and he was up scratching a lot.

I have talked to him a little about school starting in 2 weeks. He keeps asking, "Can I stay here??" Awwwwwwww........I feel so bad for him. School starting is going to cause him some major anxiety. And major anxiety for him causes me some major anxiety!

Please say a prayer for us on Aug. 24th, that is the first day of school. Actually pray before then because I will have to tell him about school starting a couple of days before.

Lord help me.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Day off

I am off work today. I got up and cooked breakfast, did a couple of loads of laundry and have been vegging the rest of the day.

I sat down on the couch and passed out earlier...I don't know why I am so tired!!

I think stressors over money, my sister, the trip, and everything else just wore me out. I met my Mom and was stressed over how that would go but it went amazingly well. My sister has not told my Mom about finding my blog. So at least I didn't have to deal with any explanations.

And like my friend Melissa says, if you make a mistake and apologize sincerely, and the other person chooses not to accept that apology, what more can you do?? Beating yourself up will not change anything.

I am going to work on some homework to get a jump start on my assignments this week. I can't believe school will start in 2 weeks!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Ready to go

Well, we got the a/c fixed, actually the a/c works fine, the condenser in the attic was not installed properly, therefore was leaking. $475 later it is fixed. The guy was recommended by my coworker, he brought another guy with him. He tried to just hang the condenser and leave. Hells no. He needed to fix the drain pan and pipe. It took him a little over 2 hours. Sounds to me like he made a killing!

2 hours of work for almost $500.

We won't be calling him again!!

But it is fixed and I guess that is what matters.

So we are heading to Oklahoma in a bit. I am supposed to meet up with my Mom this evening. I have no doubt that my sister has already filled her in on my other blog and what I said in it.

Oy vey!

Friday, August 7, 2009


So I went to the grocery store this morning. I love going early in the day when not many people are out yet. But DANG it is hot already out there.

We have a guy coming to fix our compressor in the attic tomorrow. Our trip will be shortened but we are still going for one night. He does work on the side and my coworker had him do some stuff for her. The compressor was not put in correctly and has to be re-installed the right way. This really pisses me off, we built this house, or had a contractor build it only 4 years ago, and it seems that they cut corners. I am not a happy camper at all!!! Because my mortgage is a LOT and I don't have the money for repairs like this!! UGH!!! (pulling hair out)

My Hubs woke up with a sore back. Oh joy. That means I'll be doing homework, cleaning and mowing later on because our grass is high; we have had tons of rain lately.

I need to get off of here and go to the dollar store, the post office to send my nephew a few $$'s and then back home to work my ass off. Anybody want to come help??

So the Drama

My sister's and my mutual friend posted on her facebook
People need to keep a diary and put it under their mattress instead of posting it on the Internet for the world to see.

I told her that is her opinion and then I blocked her just as I blocked my sister (from Facebook).

I am privacy protecting my autism blog this evening. I will only write here and those who are invited can read. My sister reads that and had my permission to do so but she clicked on my profile page which led her to my TX blog.

She sent me an e mail saying I wrote something about her in May after she read my post in my autism, blessings blog. I said that she gripes about her job and she talks to parents and they then go to her boss and TELL IT. I mentioned (in my blog) that it was her own fault.

I didn't even reply to her e mail. I am not feeding into her B*S*. If she doesn't want to talk to me then fine, but stop e mailing me. And stop keeping it stirred.....I apologized over and over and now I want to move on.

Thursday, August 6, 2009


I didn't delete my Living in Tx blog. Well, I did. Then I restored it. But I set it to where only I can read it. I wanted to go back and read what I said about my sister.

I wrote some things almost 9 months ago. I was upset at her lack of dealing with my kids...but her kids are at my house every month.

I wasn't really nice but I wasn't really all that mean either.

It took her awhile to go back that far!!

I'm surprised I didn't write worse stuff!

So it's still there so I can read it, but me only.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

AC update

So it looks like we are going to have to get an a/c man to come after all. Hubs and I tried to lift the pan under the condenser and it was NOT happening. Then, trying to get down the darn ladder (from the attic) was so nerve wracking. I almost had a panic attack....that ladder is small, and I am BIG and I was SKEERED!! LOL. Hubs said that a a/c man will have the necessary stuff to lift the condenser and fix the problem. We may have to cancel the first day of our trip but we have to do what we have to do!

Home ownership, it is so fun!

I came home last night and Sara and I cleaned out the fridge. And cleaned it good!! So after we did that, I went into the master bedroom and saw a big ol' bubble in the ceiling! OMG!

I screamed, "HUBS!!" and he said, "I saw it."
He was on his way up to the attic. Our a/c is up there, the part that drains water. Apparently the drain pan wasn't tilted enough and it overflowed and got on the floor of the attic, which then seeped into the ceiling above our bedroom.


He is home today making sure he fixed the problem last night. Once the ceiling dries, the sheet rock will have to be cut out and replaced...thank God he can do all of this.

I am so happy this didn't happen this weekend, we will be out of town for 2 days. UGH.

Death, surgery, choices

So the family member I posted about in my other blog, the one who is dying, is my brothers' ex wife. She is 33 and has diabetes, which she has basically ignored. Now her liver is not wanting to function.

She has 5 kids, 4 by my brother.

Her name is Laura, if you pray, please pray for her.She is in the hospital now.

My coworker is the one who is having gastric bypass. This girl has gained about 90 pounds in the last couple of years. She told me yesterday that she just wants to be thin. I talked to her about the risks of gastric, the after-effects, etc...

I did a paper on gastric. I am not saying I would NEVER have it because when your health is bad, and you simply can't lose weight, it IS an option.

My thing is, loose skin, losing your hair, not being able to eat anything hardly. Big, big changes. Your whole life changes basically.

What are your opinions on gastric bypass? Do you personally know anyone who has had it???

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Hurting others

My sister found my Living in Tx blog. I know she is hurt by a lot of things I said about her.

I have apologized.

She says she feels betrayed.

I understand how she feels and I realize that my actions have consequences. What's done is done.

I have apologized and now I must move on.

My blog is my way to vent.

Sometimes I get angry, write about it, and move on.


Starting fresh and new.

Feels good.