Monday, August 31, 2009

Light in darkness

Borrowed this from Gypsy.

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

Last night was hard because TC did not want to go to school today. He cried and screamed, hit himself and cried some more. (And he cursed a lot too).

Trying to talk to him and calm him was tough. I ended up in tears too. Why does it have to be so hard for him?? Why can't we get past these bumps and find a smooth road for God's sake??

So I came to work and I was crying (to myself) and I was quiet for a long time. I was grieving a little bit. I was very sad and distraught.

But I received a few encouraging words from blogger (and facebook friends),and I realized it will be okay.

This is just another hurdle but we will get over it.

My hubby has been a real trooper too, and he called and checked on me (and TC) first thing this morning when I got to work.

I love that man. I am so glad I am not doing this alone.

Sunday, August 30, 2009


We didn't go anywhere today, well I did have to run to the store.

I organized my cabinet.

Cooked pasta with alfredo sauce.

Made a yummy ice cream dessert.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Crazy week

Yeah, this week has had a lot of ups and downs. A LOT!! I am thinking of trying some new vitamins for TC and hope they help him. He has had meltdowns every evening after school over his Transformers. Yesterday he completely lost it and he had the durn toy in his pocket. ARGH.

Our a/c wasn't working right, I was trying to do MY homework and I had to stop to look for a darn transformer arm.

Sara is being a typical teen and wants all of my attention as soon as I walk in the door. So I feel as if I need to split myself 4 different ways so everybody can be happy.

How can I do this?

Friday... woot!!

Oh, I didn't get my pap smear after all. My doctor was overbooked so I sat there for over an hour and they asked me to reschedule. SURE WHY THE HELL NOT? I just left work early and everything.

Well, that is good, atleast some hair can grow back!

I am so happy it is Friday because this week has been one thing after another. Our a/c at home was frozen up when I got home and it was 80 freaking degrees in my house. NOT GOOD!! This fat girl was not happy!!

I am trying to get my husband to do some things on his day off, he is not thrilled with me right now!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

2nd day of school and private issues

It is the second day of school for both myself and the kids. I started 2 new classes yesterday, Algebra and Economics. UGH. MATH BITES.

I picked TC up from daycare yesterday and asked him how school went and he gave me a big smile and a thumbs up!! YEAH!!!

Sara did good but the two girls who have harassed her all summer are in class with her (for 4 classes)....bless her heart.

I have to go get a pap smear today. I am so excited!!! Not. And I forgot about it and hubs has been bitching about my HAIRY privacy area so I shaved and NOW I am afraid the dr. will think I am some sort of freak when she sees my girly parts this afternoon.

I am mortified already.

Monday, August 24, 2009

First day of school

So today was the first day of school. TC had a huge meltdown yesterday and I was kind of hoping he had it all out of his system. I didn't want to leave him at school crying and snotting everywhere.

So we walk up to his school and he was nervous...I could tell. And as his teacher gave him a hug, he held onto my hand really tight. I could see that he wanted to cry but he didn't. Sara and I talked to him for a few minutes and his teacher got him started on a computer game. I told him, "Bubba, I packed all your favorite things in your lunch, okay?? You will do fine buddy."

After one last hug, we left.

He didn't cry not even one tear. My sweet little man.

I offered to walk Sara into school, teasing her. She said, "Oh embarrassing!"


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Drama drama

Sara is continuing to have girl drama. It is 2 girls at her school who send her ugly messages on My Space. She was in tears today telling me one girl said, "I will hit you in the penis." How stupid can they be??? She is worried there will be more drama once school starts.

I just e mailed her principal. Here is my e mail.

Ms. Shamrock,
I am writing to you because my daughter, Sara Armpit, will be in 8th grade this year and I wanted to give you a heads up on some problems she is having.

Over the summer, Sara had had some problems with a couple of girls who will also be 8th graders. They have sent her nasty messages on her phone and on my space. The girls are Faith Rackface and Kristen Headeater. Part of the problem is that Sara is a very good girl and chooses not to be involved in some things that are not age appropriate. She and Faith go way back and have had problems since 6th grade. Over the summer, Kristen became upset because Sara didn't want to go to her birthday party, which Kristen had invited Faith to. I told Sara it is her choice who she wants to be friends with and she should not have to be bullied or forced to hang out with people who mistreat her.

Sara has told me that Faith has a history of being in trouble a lot at school and I told her that school is for learning, not socializing and certainly not for being mistreated by others.

Sara is worried that these two girls will continue to harass her and I told her I would make sure to fill you in on the situation since school is starting very soon.

If we have any problems, I will be in touch.

Kristi Armpit

(names have been changed)

She did e mail me back and said she would keep an eye on things.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Conceited or confident?

So Sara and I went to Fashion Bug yesterday and got a couple of tops. I am loving one of them I have on today. It makes my boobs look Great!!

I was working on a powerpoint presentation for school yesterday and I told hubs, "I hope I am doing this right, we are supposed to do this like we are training new employees."
He said, "Oh you will do fine you are a great student."
I said, "I know, but this one is a little different than what I am used to doing."
He said, (laughing) "You crack me up. I say you are great and you say, I know it."

Well, there is nothing wrong with confidence, right??

Hubs says all the time, "You think a lot of yourself." And my response is, "Well, if I don't then who will?"

School and teens

I tried to talk to TC last night about starting school. He bursted out crying. I am trying to prepare him but I don't know how. It is so hard!!

Sara, on the other hand, is ready to start school. Because her life is soooooooooo hard. I ask her to pick up after herself and oh my Lord, she is so tired of it.



Lord help me through these next 4 years with her because I love her but sometimes I want to throttle her!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

My day

TC was up this morning at 6:30. Of course he went back to sleep and I never did so I got up. I watched a little tv, got ready, went to Ace Hardware, the grocery store, post office, and Family Dollar.

I came home from all of that and had an argument with the Hubs and it was a doozie!
My husband thinks everybody is against him a lot of the time and it drives me insane. I have put in 15 years, haven't I done my time?? Haven't I proven that I am here to stay??

I went into the bathroom and had a breakdown. Maybe I needed it because I do feel better.

I vacuumed the bedrooms, loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the bathrooms, shocked the pool and changed the filter, and now I have 2 PowerPoint presentations to do. I'd better get busy!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009


If you don't read my Living in Tx Blog, please visit.
I sent my sister the link of the girl we went to school with. She is going to be on "The Biggest Loser". She lost her entire family, her hubby and kids in a tragic car accident. I told my sister that life is short and that sometimes we do things for a reason. And although I hurt her by some things I said in my blog, I do blog for my own personal reasons.

She told me that I obviously did not learn my lesson because I am still blogging.

What the hell??
I e mailed her back and said:
So I should stop blogging because you found my Tx blog?? Do you not get that the people who read my blog have been there for me when NOBODY else was???

I told her I loved her but I won't bother her anymore.

And I won't.

My TX blog is back!

I brought my Living Life In Tx blog back! Couldn't bear to part with it but I did go in and delete out a few posts. I will be monitoring the feeds and see who is visiting though!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


This is a classmate of mine. She was very vivacious and funny and we got along really well. She is going to be on the Biggest Loser in September.

Aunt Flo, school starting soon

I finally started my period yesterday. Too bad I had a pap scheduled, which I had to cancel.

I was up a lot last night cramping and sweating. Dang hormones!!!!

TC's eczema is in full swing and he was up scratching a lot.

I have talked to him a little about school starting in 2 weeks. He keeps asking, "Can I stay here??" Awwwwwwww........I feel so bad for him. School starting is going to cause him some major anxiety. And major anxiety for him causes me some major anxiety!

Please say a prayer for us on Aug. 24th, that is the first day of school. Actually pray before then because I will have to tell him about school starting a couple of days before.

Lord help me.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Day off

I am off work today. I got up and cooked breakfast, did a couple of loads of laundry and have been vegging the rest of the day.

I sat down on the couch and passed out earlier...I don't know why I am so tired!!

I think stressors over money, my sister, the trip, and everything else just wore me out. I met my Mom and was stressed over how that would go but it went amazingly well. My sister has not told my Mom about finding my blog. So at least I didn't have to deal with any explanations.

And like my friend Melissa says, if you make a mistake and apologize sincerely, and the other person chooses not to accept that apology, what more can you do?? Beating yourself up will not change anything.

I am going to work on some homework to get a jump start on my assignments this week. I can't believe school will start in 2 weeks!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Ready to go

Well, we got the a/c fixed, actually the a/c works fine, the condenser in the attic was not installed properly, therefore was leaking. $475 later it is fixed. The guy was recommended by my coworker, he brought another guy with him. He tried to just hang the condenser and leave. Hells no. He needed to fix the drain pan and pipe. It took him a little over 2 hours. Sounds to me like he made a killing!

2 hours of work for almost $500.

We won't be calling him again!!

But it is fixed and I guess that is what matters.

So we are heading to Oklahoma in a bit. I am supposed to meet up with my Mom this evening. I have no doubt that my sister has already filled her in on my other blog and what I said in it.

Oy vey!

Friday, August 7, 2009


So I went to the grocery store this morning. I love going early in the day when not many people are out yet. But DANG it is hot already out there.

We have a guy coming to fix our compressor in the attic tomorrow. Our trip will be shortened but we are still going for one night. He does work on the side and my coworker had him do some stuff for her. The compressor was not put in correctly and has to be re-installed the right way. This really pisses me off, we built this house, or had a contractor build it only 4 years ago, and it seems that they cut corners. I am not a happy camper at all!!! Because my mortgage is a LOT and I don't have the money for repairs like this!! UGH!!! (pulling hair out)

My Hubs woke up with a sore back. Oh joy. That means I'll be doing homework, cleaning and mowing later on because our grass is high; we have had tons of rain lately.

I need to get off of here and go to the dollar store, the post office to send my nephew a few $$'s and then back home to work my ass off. Anybody want to come help??

So the Drama

My sister's and my mutual friend posted on her facebook
People need to keep a diary and put it under their mattress instead of posting it on the Internet for the world to see.

I told her that is her opinion and then I blocked her just as I blocked my sister (from Facebook).

I am privacy protecting my autism blog this evening. I will only write here and those who are invited can read. My sister reads that and had my permission to do so but she clicked on my profile page which led her to my TX blog.

She sent me an e mail saying I wrote something about her in May after she read my post in my autism, blessings blog. I said that she gripes about her job and she talks to parents and they then go to her boss and TELL IT. I mentioned (in my blog) that it was her own fault.

I didn't even reply to her e mail. I am not feeding into her B*S*. If she doesn't want to talk to me then fine, but stop e mailing me. And stop keeping it stirred.....I apologized over and over and now I want to move on.

Thursday, August 6, 2009


I didn't delete my Living in Tx blog. Well, I did. Then I restored it. But I set it to where only I can read it. I wanted to go back and read what I said about my sister.

I wrote some things almost 9 months ago. I was upset at her lack of dealing with my kids...but her kids are at my house every month.

I wasn't really nice but I wasn't really all that mean either.

It took her awhile to go back that far!!

I'm surprised I didn't write worse stuff!

So it's still there so I can read it, but me only.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

AC update

So it looks like we are going to have to get an a/c man to come after all. Hubs and I tried to lift the pan under the condenser and it was NOT happening. Then, trying to get down the darn ladder (from the attic) was so nerve wracking. I almost had a panic attack....that ladder is small, and I am BIG and I was SKEERED!! LOL. Hubs said that a a/c man will have the necessary stuff to lift the condenser and fix the problem. We may have to cancel the first day of our trip but we have to do what we have to do!

Home ownership, it is so fun!

I came home last night and Sara and I cleaned out the fridge. And cleaned it good!! So after we did that, I went into the master bedroom and saw a big ol' bubble in the ceiling! OMG!

I screamed, "HUBS!!" and he said, "I saw it."
He was on his way up to the attic. Our a/c is up there, the part that drains water. Apparently the drain pan wasn't tilted enough and it overflowed and got on the floor of the attic, which then seeped into the ceiling above our bedroom.


He is home today making sure he fixed the problem last night. Once the ceiling dries, the sheet rock will have to be cut out and replaced...thank God he can do all of this.

I am so happy this didn't happen this weekend, we will be out of town for 2 days. UGH.

Death, surgery, choices

So the family member I posted about in my other blog, the one who is dying, is my brothers' ex wife. She is 33 and has diabetes, which she has basically ignored. Now her liver is not wanting to function.

She has 5 kids, 4 by my brother.

Her name is Laura, if you pray, please pray for her.She is in the hospital now.

My coworker is the one who is having gastric bypass. This girl has gained about 90 pounds in the last couple of years. She told me yesterday that she just wants to be thin. I talked to her about the risks of gastric, the after-effects, etc...

I did a paper on gastric. I am not saying I would NEVER have it because when your health is bad, and you simply can't lose weight, it IS an option.

My thing is, loose skin, losing your hair, not being able to eat anything hardly. Big, big changes. Your whole life changes basically.

What are your opinions on gastric bypass? Do you personally know anyone who has had it???

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Hurting others

My sister found my Living in Tx blog. I know she is hurt by a lot of things I said about her.

I have apologized.

She says she feels betrayed.

I understand how she feels and I realize that my actions have consequences. What's done is done.

I have apologized and now I must move on.

My blog is my way to vent.

Sometimes I get angry, write about it, and move on.


Starting fresh and new.

Feels good.