Monday, July 19, 2010

Getting real

Okay I want to get real today on this blog.
Let me just say that being home with my kids everyday is a major adjustment for me!
I love my kids.
I really do.

Sara is a 14 year old girl.
Anybody who was a teen knows what I deal with, the eye rolling, smart mouth stuff. But for the most part, Sara is good.

However, there are days when I want to escape from TC's rants and constant talk of Terminator, Transformers, Iron Man, etc...
It never stops.
NEVER!

It is never quiet in my house. Unless the kids are asleep. As soon as I wake up, TC wakes up. Most days I am lucky to get 30 minutes alone in the mornings.

Today is an example of what I deal with.
TC picked out an Iron Man guy at Wal M#art.
One of the arms didn't move right and TC had a huge fit.
He took the Iron Man guy and threw him in the trash saying, "Damn piece of crap." All the while, he is crying saying he needs a newer, better Iron Man.
He went on and on and eventually was able to calm down.

Today I took the kids to eat Chinese food.
TC took a bite of a potato wedge and started to gag.
Ugh.
Food issues.
I thought he was going to vomit.
Luckily he didn't, but he has MANY times. In public.

I am tempted to throw all of his toys out some days.
I yell and tell him to just "Please stop with the bad words and the fits over stupid toys!"
I wish I could watch TV without having to turn it up so loud because of TC's never ending chatter.
I feel bad sometimes for wanting to have some time alone.
I try not to let TC hurt my feelings but some days he does.
He will tell me he hates me.
I realize he does not know what he is saying and he is always very sorry after he upsets me.

Even though it has gotten a little better, it has not gotten easy.
I still have days when I think I cannot do this.
But I know I have no choice.

I am his Mom.

7 comments:

Alicia D said...

I can soooo relate :)
great and honest post!

Ms. Diva said...

I have three teenagers and one preteen and I ALWAYS want time alone!! I wish I could help you out somehow. Email me if you would like: frogdiva12(at)yahoo!

Melissa H said...

Honey, you know I relate to all of the TC stuff. If you remember, Conor vomiting over POTATO is what caused the huge Thanksgiving blowup! I also know what you mean about it never being quiet unless they're asleep. Even when Conor is playing his Wii, he is constantly chattering, singing the Mario theme songs or yelling at the game. OR, he's perseverating on some particular word or sound over and over and over again. I try to remember a time when he didn't talk at all and I worried whether he would. Sometimes, even that isn't enough to stop me from saying, "Would you please stop talking for five minutes?!?"

Just want you to know that I feel ya and you're not alone. <3

Lola said...

I KNow! What's it take for a bit of peace?:)
Oh, i have a new blog-going to take awhile to transfer some stuff from my other site but here it is!
www.laurelanderson.blogspot.com

Stimey said...

You KNOW I feel you. And just like you, I keep soldiering on. Sometimes it's hard, but sometimes it's so, so worth it, right? Hope you've had some good days since. :)

Twix said...

I have two who have some form of Autism Spectrum disorder. One has the Aspergers form and the other is just labeled as having an AS disorder. If I was growing up today I would probably be labeled with Aspergers. An interesting side note, both of my brother's children are on the AS rainbow slide. So I guess I'm trying to say I can relate. And staying at home takes lots of patience! I've been a stay at home mom for 17 years and we home school. Some days I feel like I'm going NUTS!!!

Vee said...

I agree. We've home schooled since my Kid was kicked out of kindergarten because I wouldn't give him anything for his ADHD. People and family members broke me down so I finally consented to try ritalin in 2003. After 2 weeks he was chewing his tongue raw and has autism symptoms and tourette's syndrome symptoms. Took him off immediately, and he's pretty much calmer now. Still has some symptoms, and he is completely fixated on certain things like movies, cartoons, and numbers. He used to be clingy but now he likes a lot of alone time! So... I can relate. Vee at http://veegettinghealthy.blogspot.com