Sunday, January 16, 2011

I cannot believe this happened

TC's behavior has NOT BEEN GOOD lately. He has been saying bad words, being mean and rude, and threatening to call the police on us when we get onto him. Thanks to the 9-1-1 talk they had at school!

I threatened him all day yesterday because of his bad behavior. I took Sara shopping she had some respite $ to spend and TC had already picked out an army guy at the grocery store yesterday morning, the army guy was around $2.50 so I agreed to purchase the toy. I told TC, "This is all you get today." And he agreed.

When I took Sara to the store to shop, TC was mad and wanted to get another toy and I told him no. And he wasn't happy but I told him he would live.

Fast forward to last night. After TC's shower I was in his room with him. He was ready to draw some pictures and I looked at his toes and his toenails were soooooooo long so I decided to trim them. I didn't think anything about it, he HATES to get them trimmed but I needed to get it done. He was also having an asthma attack so I was giving him a breathing treatment too while trimming his toes. And the next thing I know, I heard him say, "I am gonna stab you." And he took the pencil and stabbed me in the back. I screamed, it HURT! And I immediately grabbed the pencil and reprimanded him. I asked Hubs to look at my back to make sure I wasn't bleeding (I wasn't) but I was livid. And Hubs was too!! He popped TC's butt and told him that is NOT acceptable.

Let me just say we rarely spank TC. I think there are other methods of discipline that can be used other than Whooping butt...however in this case I feel it was appropriate.

But the whole incident scares me and I try not to go "to the future" in my mind. I just worry sometimes and don't want TC's anger to get the best of him and I don't want him to hurt anybody in anger or frustration. We do not medicate him but I realize we may have to look at that in the future if he cannot control his impulses.


I am feeling a little blue over the whole situation today.


Maria said...

This is a tough one for you. And yes, the older he gets, the more you must be on guard. I don't generally work with older children, but with the younger ones, we teach things like clapping hands and snapping fingers to get aggression out. I know it sounds lame, but we have had good success with it, however I am not sure how it would work with older children. The ones I deal with are under the age of 8.

Chef Penny said...

First, (((((hugs))))). Second, more (((((hugs)))). Do you think he was just in sensory overload with the breathing treatment and the nail clipping that he truly didn't know how to make it stop? I know when I trim Logan's nails, it can't be with other things going on as that is all he can handle sensory wise at that time. Just a little food for thought. More (((((hugs)))))) Penny

Heather said...

I wish I could hug you and tell you it's going to be okay. None of us know the future but I think the one thing that all of us parents to children with autism is that we worry about "the future." So perhaps I can give you comfort by telling you that you are not alone in your fears. My son is 5 and has aggression issues every now and again too. We do the same thing with the pop on the bottom when he is aggressive towards us. We teach him alternative ways to let that anger out too but some days are just crappy days. Hang in there and I would tell you not to worry because worrying won't get you anywhere but then I would be a hypocrite because I worry too! Gosh, I'm not sure this comment is even helpful! Maybe I should have just typed {hugs} instead, lol!

Mommie That Gets It said...

Oh Kristi, so sorry to hear about this. Glad to hear your are okay. Have you tried giving TC a pillow or even a blow up punching bag to get rid of his anger. Someone told me this really worked for them in the past.

Austin hates having his nails trimmed too ... I try to do it quickly and distract him with a movie or something.

I hope everything gets better. Do you have an OT by any chance?

Sending you big *HUGS*!


Cheryl said...

(((((((HUGS))))))) It is so hard, even when you do everything so right there are going to be days where his anger and rages get the best of him. I think you sticking to your limits with him, because he needs that structure, the way you always do, is what is best for him. He is going to have bad days, and he should have a consequence for what he did. Hurting people is a huge no. I'm not telling you anything you don't know, sweetie. You are doing the very best you can and there are going to be good days, bad days and some really, really bad days. Just stick to you discipline plan and the structure. Don't think about the future right now because you don't know what the future holds. However, if these episodes start happening more often, then I would talk to his doctor to see what he suggests.
Love you!!!
Yes, I have a new blog.

Julie said...

Anger management is the hardest to learn in a speical needs child. They just don't get it like we do. He will with all the love you have to offer and a pop in the butt is part of tough love and he knows that too.
I have become a follower of your blog. I find you're life very interesting and would love to watch TC grow and your family all learn together.
Take care and God Bless!!