Thursday, November 5, 2009

Rude and inconsiderate family member

I mentioned in my Tx Blog that sometimes you have to just say no and not feel bad about it.

Well, my sister called me last Saturday, 2 hours before I was going to take the kids to a church carnival and trick or treating. She said, "Oh your nephew (her son, Josh) has invited himself to go to the church carnival with you and stay the night."

Of course she put me on the spot, but I told her I would have to call her back.
And when I did, I told her that I just wanted to take my kids, but he could stay another time.

So she is not speaking to me right now.

Well, I ordered some Avon for my niece and I messaged my sister on Facebook and told her that my niece's Avon is in. And that I know she is mad at me over this past weekend.

She said in her reply, "Well, I was upset. And I have a lot going on so I won't be able to come get her Avon. I'll get it from you another time."

And I messaged her back and this is what I said.
Doing things short notice freaks TC out a lot of the time. We had already had a pretty full day and he was cranky. I didn't stay long at the church thing, it was very small and made for little ones, not teens. But TC had fun anyways. Maybe next time we can plan a little more ahead. Sunday I had a 1400 word paper I had to write, so Saturday was not a good night for company. I have a lot going on too and I would never hurt anybody's feelings but sometimes you have to do what works for you and your family and hope that people don't get mad. Sara wanted Chelle to come over this weekend and I said, I have to work Saturday and besides that, it is Josh's turn to stay the night, he is next. I am not trying to be unfair, I have invited Josh and he had other things going on but he is welcome to stay after this weekend.

I mean, I get tired of having to lick her butt 24/7 and she doesn't know how dealing with a kid with Autism works. You can't just spring things on TC or all hell will break loose.

And I get even more tired of her (and other people) saying how much they have going on. I am busy too, HELL, I am working, going to school, mowing, cleaning, cooking, laundrying, and everything!! She rents her house and doesn't even have to mow, they do it for her.

But I try to be considerate and not ask anybody to help out with my kids. And if they offer I am grateful. But I do not expect it!

I really want to tell her to get over herself already!


Mom of Opiate Addict said...

Sometimes people just get so wrapped up in their own lives they can't see how busy others might be. To me, you did the right thing for yourself and your family and have nothing to apologize for. Your sister actually should apologize for putting you on the spot like that. She will come to her senses.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Mom of Opiate Addict and second of all, she should have asked not told you what she was going to do. So good for you for telling her no.

Mrs. Lovely said...

You were right to say No. It is really rude and inconsiderate to just tell someone what they're going to do. They should have the manners to ask if it's all right first.

Bina said...

I'm glad you said no. Always do what's best for you and your family.

And honey, You, me, and many other women REALLY know what it's like to be busy. Some people say they are "busy" if they have to cook a dinner, (I had a friend like that, and my God she drove me nuts with her "business") but add everything else to what you already do a son with Autism? If your sister doesn't understand yet, do you think she EVER will?

My Three Sons said...

I know how you feel. My family always comes by without calling and if I'm getting Carson down for a nap (which doesn't happen often, but always when they show up) then he is up and very cranky for the rest of the day. My family is kinda like Everybody Loves Raymond....except my mom is 10 minutes away not across the street. She loves to put her two cents into everything and my dad just goes along with it. Don't get me wrong, I love them all, just want to make my own decisions and plan a peaceful night without surprise visits.