A day off

Yesterday I was off work. Unfortunately my car started smoking on Thursday so I had to put it in the shop. But it is fixed now. It was a hose that had came off.

I am taking the kids to run around today and look at a thrift shop, maybe get a couple of movies.

No homework this weekend, it was all due yesterday!
Woot!

At some point, I need to clean the bathrooms but for now we are off to enjoy this beautiful day!

Bustin' it up!

TC drew this picture of the Hulk, his latest obsession!




I really wanted to knock this girl out this morning. Her daughter goes to TC's daycare. She lives farther than me but we drive the same way to daycare, and often I am behind her driving to daycare, or vice-versa.
She was behind me this morning.
She is a very very aggressive driver.
She was on my butt the whole way. Finally I had enough, and I put on my brakes.
She then whipped around me.
And I was like, "OH Hay-Yull no!"I was able to pass her in the other lane and I was fussing the whole way.

Once we got to daycare BEFORE MS THANG got there, she pulled up as TC and I were walking in.
I said LOUDLY to TC "Some people need to slow down! Some people need to try to stop running over Mama!"
I know she heard me.
I was so mad I was spitting nails.
I wanted to give her a piece of my mind but I was worried she would talk smack and I would then have to knock her out and then I would go to jail!

But, boy was I mad!!

Work woes

I am so over my job. You know I have mentioned we are closing as of March 31st. We are no longer processing anymore film.
The days are sloooooooooooooow.
The work is almost nil.
I spend most of my time reading blogs, which is not all bad.
But it makes the day go by slow.

I still wake up early and get the kids to school.
I try to have things laid out the night before so things move smoothly.
I have done good about not losing it with TC but last week I did.
He was whining and whining and whining and not getting dressed.
And I had a sick sinus headache.
Finally I yelled and he cried.
And I apologized.
But we HAVE to be out the door by 7 or he will miss the daycare bus.

I can't wait for these days to be over for awhile.
I can take him to school once my job goes away and if we are running a little late, no biggie!
But it is getting harder and harder to come to work at a job that will be gone in weeks. And the fact that there is nothing to work on makes it even harder!

Let's talk about me...

I wanna talk about me!! I love that Toby Keith song!

You know those people who it is always about them 24/7??
Isn't it annoying??

That is why I love to blog. I can talk about me and my life and get feedback. And you come to visit and read...I love it!

My sister loves to talk about herself, so does one of my coworkers. I swear I can sit and listen to both of them and never say a word and they just keep talking.
It is funny!

Are you a better talker or listener??

New great nephew

TC does not really like babies, but he did fine!




Sara loves babies!

Babies, college and allergies

My niece had a baby last night.
She is 16.
So not ready for a baby and I hope she will be a good mother.
I can hope, right??

We are going to see him later on today after I get off work.
My allergies are still kicking my butt.
I seriously think it is the a/c vents here at my job.
This place is OLD and my eyes do not run like this at home.
I am so over this place.
I am so over my crazy boss.

I can't wait to have some "me" time. I have so many projects to complete.
I also can't wait to be able to do homework during the day and not use up my whole weekend writing papers and stuff like that.
I am amazed that I have almost completed 2 years of college while working and raising a family. I am so excited to be done in July!!

TGIF, I guess

Oh my gosh. I had the morning from hell.
I woke up with another horrible sinus headache.
TC showed his TAIL END all morning.
He did not want to hurry up and get dressed and I was so frustrated!

On the way to daycare, he told me he wanted to slap me.
Then when we got to daycare, he said, "Mom, you are just a piece of crap."
I told him that I wish his teacher luck with him today, he was in rare form.

I am at work but probably not for long. My head is KILLING me still.
Sara just called because she watched some movie in health and now she is not feeling good.
I told her to give it an hour and call me back if she is still not feeling well.

I was looking forward to going home and going to lay down. That is all I can do when my head feels this way. UGH.

Oh, and I have to work tomorrow too.

Update on the teen drama

Tx is getting ready to do TAKS testing again. TC cannot read so he is exempt from testing, but Sara goes to tutoring for math every Wednesday.

I picked her up yesterday and she was being very sweet. She said, "Oh Mom I thought about you all day today. I feel bad that you got upset with me yesterday."
I told her, "Really? Well, I have already forgiven you."
We cooked supper together and watched tv for a while.

Everything has been forgiven. I know she is a good girl and I love her very much. She is 14 and we still talk a lot and we are very close, that's a really good thing.

Depression, sadness

Yesterday I got upset with Sara. I slipped and said a bad word yesterday morning when I hit a pot hole in our road. She told Hubs about it, and in turn, he called me at work yesterday afternoon telling me that I am going to be the reason my kids grow up and say bad words.

Heck, TC already learned many at daycare! And Sara is in Jr. High so we all know what kind of language she hears.

I sort of felt like Hubs and Sara were ganging up on me. It made me very upset and sad. I told them how it made me feel too.

I went to bed last night and thought about it. I do need to clean up my language and I am going to make a conscious effort to do so. However, it is hard when someone you love always points out what you do wrong, I do not like being criticized when I work so hard to take care of my family.

I have been really sad lately. I think part of it is because I have to come to a job that is going away in a little over a month. After 15 1/2 years, that is NOT easy. And my coworkers talk about how sad they are all day long. I am trying not to be sad and I know God has a plan. But I do not want to hear how sad others are every single minute either. I want to cry in private. I want to pray and have hope. I know this job is not the be all, end all. There will be life after Fuji.

Another reason I have been sad is because my nephew (he is in prison, but we are very close) has been really sick. I was so worried when he said his bones hurt. I was sort of silently freaking out. I asked did he have the flu? It turns out he DID have the flu and is doing better. I miss him so much, we had custody of him for a short time when he was a teen. But he wanted to move off and be "grown". Well, it's a long story but he was raised by my older sister and not taught to be a good person, he was taught to steal at 5 years old. She put him out at 14 years of age. He has been in trouble on an off since then.
I just miss him a lot.
Luckily we can e mail and write and I let him call me once a month. He is like my son and my heart hurts when he is sick and I can't do anything.
I hope these next 2 years goes by quickly for him. He knows he has a home to come to.

So those are just some random things going on with me right now.
I am hoping today is a better day.

Did anybody catch American Idol?? I am happy with the picks so far. LOVED the little 16 year old boy; the one who was adopted by his aunt. He was a cutie pie!

One day at a time

While we enjoy extra time off from school, or the kids do....it is tough when TC goes back. Take today for instance. He came home and had 3 meltdowns within one hour. It was awful.

Finally after he ate dinner he seemed to calm down. Hopefully it will get better but when he is tired, he is not in the best of moods.

It can be hard! I know it is difficult and he can't control his anger sometimes but I am now able to send him to his room for a "calm down" period.
It seems to be working and he is able to self calm without tearing up his room.

Baby steps, right??

Am I crazy?

My kids look like they love each other, right??? Well, I just took them both to the grocery store and they drove me insane. Whew! What was I thinking???

Snow in Tx

My neighbor's house. It is creepy but it actually looks pretty in this pic










Hubs






After playing.

TC'isms

Last night Sara was in the kitchen and she came up to TC.
He told her, "Sara get away from me, I am allergic to you!"

We were laying in bed last night and I asked TC who was his favorite teacher, Ms. H or Ms. G. And he said, "Ms. H!"
I said, "Who is prettier?" and he said, "Ms H!"
I asked, "Does she have a young face or and old face?"
And he said, "She has a young face, but Mom you have an OLD face!"

Alrighty then!

Our angels here on Earth

Here is an email I received that made me think of our special angels God has given us to raise and cherish. If you have a special needs child, you know it is difficult but I know TC has taught me to take things slower and cherish the good.


GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED

I envy Kevin. My brother, Kevin, thinks God lives
under his bed. At least that's what I heard him say
one night.
He was praying out loud in his dark
bedroom, and I stopped to listen, 'Are you there, God?' he said.
'Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed....'

I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room.

Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of
amusement. But that night something else lingered
long after the humor. I realized for the first time the
very different world Kevin lives in.
He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a
result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his
size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which
he is an adult.
He reasons and communicates with the capabilities
of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably
always believe that God lives under his bed, that
Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under
our tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay
up in the sky because angels carry them.
I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different.
Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life?

Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop
for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel,
return to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for
dinner, and later to bed.

The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry,
when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine
like a mother with her newborn child.
He does not seem dissatisfied.
He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05,
eager for a day of simple work.
He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils
on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late
twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his
next day's laundry chores.
And Saturdays - oh, the bliss of Saturdays!
That's the day my Dad takes Kevin to the airport
to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and
speculate loudly on the destination of each
passenger inside. 'That one's goin' to Chi-car-go! '
Kevin shouts as he claps his hands.
His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on
Friday nights.
And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend
field trips.

He doesn't know what it means to be discontent.
His life is simple.
He will never know the entanglements of wealth or
power, and he does not care what brand of clothing
he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs
have always been met, and he never worries that
one day they may not be.

His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as
when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher
or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it.
He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and
he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when
his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax.
He is not obsessed with his work or the work of
others. His heart is pure.
He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises
must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize
instead of argue.

Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances,
Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or
sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere.
And he trusts God.

Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he
comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems
to know God - to really be friends with Him in a
way that is difficult for an 'educated' person to
grasp. God seems like his closest companion.
In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my
Christianity, I envy the security Kevin has in his
simple faith.

It is then that I am most willing to admit that he
has some divine knowledge that rises above my
mortal questions.

It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one
with the handicap.

I am.

My obligations, my fear,
my pride, my circumstances - they all become
disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care.
Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can
never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life
in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and
soaking up the goodness and love of God.
And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are
opened, and we are all amazed at how close God
really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard
the simple prayers of a boy who believed that
God lived under his bed.
Kevin won't be surprised at all!

Meltdowns, darts and getting over it

My brother took TC to see one of his girls over the weekend. Needless to say, TC came back having a huge fit! He had lost a dart from his sword ( a new toy he got at Wal Mart) and he was VERY upset that it could not be found.
My brother felt so bad.

I explained to him that TC was tired and this is the crazy thing about autism. You don't see TC act this way often but when he does, WATCH OUT. He screamed and tantrumed for a WHILE. My brother didn't know what to do and kept apologizing. I told him it was okay.

And after awhile, he did get over it. And the funny thing is my brother found the dart thing and is mailing it to us this week. TC hasn't asked about it since.

Our weekend

My brother relaxin'







Me



Silly TC with his lightsaber

Celebrity Status

Tc's teacher is sending home a form where they can put photos of him on the school website. Also they are going to try to get him in our local paper!

He is a celebrity!
He was so proud of being Zero the Hero for the 100th day of school. We asked him a lot of questions but after the third one, he was done and just wanted to eat his dinner. I got him Jack in the Box as a treat for a job well done!!

I am off Friday because my big bro is coming to TX to take care of some business and we are spending the day together. I love my brother! We talk everyday.

My baby is a hero

TC got to play ZERO THE HERO in school today and he went to all the classrooms. He was so excited!

The best things

The best part of my day.
I have many wonderful things during my day.

Here are a few:

1. Waking up to a quiet house. Mornings are my favorite, I can talk to the Lord, watch a little tv, clean up, fold some laundry, whatever I want all before my family wakes up.

2. Getting the kids off to school on time with no drama. This makes my mornings go so smoothly and we all know that kids are unpredictable. My autistic son is getting more mature and my teen daughter knows when I say to get moving, I mean it!!

3. Arriving at work safely. Hey, I only drive 15 miles but sometimes I am a nervous wreck by the time I get here, especially if the weather is bad. So I always thank the Lord for getting me here safely.

4. Finding comments on my blogs. (I know, but I love comments!)

5. Having a nice meal with the family in the evening. I love talking about our day or hearing the latest teen drama at Sara's school...she is 14, there is always drama!

6. Bath time. After the kids are all bathed and snuggly...we always lay down in TC's room together.

7. Sleep.........sweet sleep.

New bed stuff

So with income tax coming up, I decided to order TC this bed set. And the curtains. I think he will love it!