Thursday, September 24, 2009


Yesterday I was in a weird mood.

Sometimes I think too much.
I was thinking a lot about TC. What does his future hold? Will I eventually have to put him in a home somewhere?
Some days I think he will be fine, be able to live independently.
Yet other days I am not sure.
Because this last week has been tough.
We had another rough one last night with another bad nosebleed.
I worry about him making bad choices in the future. Getting involved in drugs or getting in a bad relationship.
I know I can't control the future but some days I worry.
A lot.

I know he is only 7. And he is doing great in school, his behavior has been phenomenal. He has received stickers all week long and yesterday he got a Happy Gram. He got commended for dancing so well in P.E.

Maybe my worrying is not rational. Yet I can't help it.


mama edge said...

A friend of mine once suggested that, every time I indulge in "worst-case scenario" thinking, I balance it with some "best-case scenario" musings. Maybe TC will become an internationally-bestselling author who writes about how his mother made his journey with autism an amazing adventure! And then, she suggested I get my head out of the future and keep it focused on today. Because today is really all we have.

Does all this help me? Yes, but then I worry I've stuck my head in the sand. I can worry about anything. Meh.

Bina said...

Kristi, it's normal to think of those things, but then just put them right out of your head and live for NOW! Be positive and know that how TC is RIGHT NOW, in NO WAY reflects how he'll be as a man. Not one person I know is the same person they were when they were that young. He has come a long way, and he has a long way to go. I know it must be very hard, but you are doing such a wonderful job!

Bina said...

Hey girl, read this

Shannon @ Gabi's World said...

I could have wrote this post many days! It's tough especially when we try to predict the future!