With Billy's passing, I have tried to do a lot of thinking. I have thought about my relationships. I have tried to change some of the ways I have done things.
I realize life is short and we have to take what we can get.
My family may not be there for me as much as I would like but I am willing to work hard to nurture our relationships.
I also understand that we can't change other people. They are who they are.
My husband sees things differently. He says he has to guard his heart. I think we all do, to an extent. But my husband feels alone a lot of the time. He doesn't really reach out to people. He doesn't really care about relationships with his family.
Until something like losing a family member happens. And I think he is hurt because some people have not reached out to him.
Even though I have done my best, and I am far from perfect, he has been lashing out at me. And it hurts because I am the ONE person who has been there for him for the last 15 years.
I told him last night that he needs to start trying to nurture some relationships.
It is time.
4 comments:
Oh Kristi. It is so hard to love someone that is closed in half the time. And usually, you can't change those people. Hopefully he'll realize that you HAVE been there for him, and are willing to go through these things with him. That has to mean something, right?
your blog template is so pretty and welcoming!!
Thanks for your sweet comments over in my "crusty world."
I'm so sorry about your husbands Uncle. I'm sorry that he didn't survive.
My brother, back in May (May 26th) was hit by a semi on the driverside door of his truck at about 40mph..my brother wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
he was brought into the same hospital I was in, at the time, battling a colitis episode. I remember the code call (before we knew about my brother Jimmy): "Code Yellow, ER, Code Yellow Er..(which means trauma case coming in, trauma team report to er). I was on the phone with my mom at that time-again we didn't know it was my brother.
That trauma call was my brother being brought in-the work truck he was in, was crumpled..he was bleeding on the brain with a blood clot and a bruised brainstem.
but he did survive.
I'm so sorry that your husband's going through what we feared we'd be going through this past May.
I will definitely be back here and will be adding you to my blog roll. It's just so comfortable here!
Always,
One Crusty Mom-E
P.S. I totally know what you mean on expectations of other people and then being disappointed...(not to mention the need or yearning for approval and acceptance). Boy do I ever know. =)
It's usually those who we are closest to and feel most comfortable with, who get the brunt of our frustration.
Take care, CJ xx
Post a Comment